Tag Archives: exercise

Coping with the Low Valleys of Being a Mama

Right now, I am one weary mama. My Fitbit tells me exactly how much sleep I’m not getting at night. And then it tells me I should sleep more. I want to sleep more than 6-7 hours, but my body will not let me. And I love sleep, especially naps, so this hurts me.

My allergies and asthma work together in concert to exhaust my lungs and body systems. This year’s pollen crop keeps up its attack without ceasing. My usually black car now has a yellowish-green tint to it. Going outside to play with my kids for an hour sets me back at least a day in terms of system recovery. And my boys live to play outside and run around. So we coop ourselves up in our house or indoor play areas, but they just aren’t the same as playing at a park.

My asthma got so bad this week, I breached proper theatre etiquette and walked out, mid-song, of The Color Purple, a musical I’ve been waiting all year to see. All because I couldn’t stop coughing and I knew it would be worse for those around me if I stayed. So I interrupted 16 people to escape the theatre, and didn’t go back inside due to fear of the same thing happening again.

I can’t exercise the way I want; I have to take breathing breaks because I’m sucking wind. Or I can’t even muster up the energy to take my regular classes because moving my body seems impossible.

These are all my coping mechanisms to deal with anxiety and life that make me a better mama to my boys. And I can’t do them right now. So we are all suffering.

I get angry over little things (and big ones, too). The house is more of a disaster than usual because we are in it more and I can’t stop coughing enough to fully clean it. I cry easily, and feel like I’m letting everyone down. I am not at peace with myself, and am struggling.

I tell myself it’s all right; it’s going to be all right. I pray and ask God to help me feel better. But it’s so hard when I can’t even breathe. I’m being carried away and cannot ground myself.

So I ask for help. I hate it; I want to do it myself, be strong and persevere. But I can’t. My husband is pretty fantastic at supporting me when I get like this. He’s positive, and affirming, and full of hugs. It’s difficult to float away when you are receiving a hug. My boys give full-body snuggles, too. Their empathy is outstanding and a great comfort to me. I feel like I don’t deserve it, but I’m working at accepting it. I am loved, and enough.

The Third Trimester is Here!

At 28 weeks pregnant, I’ve made it to the third trimester! Baby boy is the size of a head of cauliflower, weighing in at approximately 2.5 pounds and measuring 16 inches long. There is never a moment I don’t feel pregnant these days. This little one moves around just as much as his big brother did in utero, and makes me feel tired a lot of the time. 

Uninterrupted sleep is a thing of the past; between getting up several times a night to use the bathroom or switch positions and dealing with nighttime Hen issues (maybe one day he will consistently sleep through the night), I’m just not getting great sleep. Growing a baby is hard work, especially when I’m chasing after an energetic two-year-old. 
Overall, our daily routine hasn’t changed: in the morning we eat breakfast, go to the gym, and then do an activity like a playground, library time, or errands; eat lunch, read, and nap (my favorite) in the early afternoon; and then watch a couple shows, make dinner, and play or clean until Keith comes home. We finish out our days by taking a family walk or having a family dance party, doing the bedtime routine with the Hen, and catching up on some television or other things at home. 

  

Keith and I attended our first childbirth class (out of five) this week, which are required by our Birth Center since I didn’t have a natural childbirth last time around. I think it will be helpful, especially when it comes to learning relaxation and breathing techniques for labor. The class is the same time as my prenatal yoga class, so I plan to resume that in April. I go to the YMCA four to six times a week, depending on how I’m feeling on a given day. I either go to Body Pump class (2-3 times a week) or run/walk on the elliptical and ride the stationary bike. I hope to continue until the baby is here, especially since I was able to lift weights and walk last time around. I’m feeling really great, and looking forward to the next twelve weeks flying by so we can meet our little guy.