No rabbits were harmed in the making of this pregnancy. No, seriously, read about it.

It is a common misconception that the injected rabbit would die only if the woman was pregnant.

False. All the rabbits died. Today’s pregnancy tests are much more reliable, and they don’t involve murdering bunnies, so that’s a bonus. I assume the bunnies feel the same way.

You have to make a lot of assumptions when it comes to growing children. It’s the miracle of life; there is just more going on in the belly of a lady than any one person could ever comprehend. Unlike a well-played chess match, this process cannot be planned and controlled with any real certainty. There are more possible variables than time to dream them up. So there is only one thing a hopeful parent like me can do: give up.

There is no shortage of controversial and passionately-argued assumptions when it comes to growing babies. Do you trust certain traditional and cultural beliefs, or do you trust their opposing beliefs in Western medicine? In case you’re keeping score, the practitioners of Western medicine are the folks who’ve brought us both dramatically lower infant fatality rates and dramatically higher bunny fatality rates.

In any of these issues, a nervous parent will understandably do some research — but let’s be honest: you’re not going to understand. Even the doctors (and midwives, and shamans, etc.) argue about these issues among themselves. Eventually you have to put your faith into something and take some assumptions for granted.

So, here’s to nine months of researching, fretting, assuming, giving up, trusting, and ultimately being out of control of the most important thing I’ll probably ever do.