Monthly Archives: November 2012


One of the realizations that has come with growing a baby is that I have taken on a new role in life. We’re talking top five life-defining roles. Right before this point, I’d pretty much figured out my roles in life:

  1. human
  2. husband
  3. pastor

After that come a whole bunch of things like son, brother, friend, citizen, and other things that are extremely important but that I’m not about to put into any kind of order. Although, I suppose if I had to, I would. The three roles above do compete for my attention, so the order is intentional.

Ok, great. Now, where do I put parent in there?

Complications: Unlike an ethical robot, I do not always succeed at keeping my various roles in the proper perspective. The order I’ve placed them in doesn’t describe every moment of my life, but it does help me realize when I’m doing it wrong. One more role adds multiple new ways of doing it wrong. But: my various roles do not necessarily compete. Sometimes they reinforce each other.

I know this because I believe that I’m a better pastor because I’m a husband. This is an individual thing; it does not mean all pastors would be better married. (There are people who are better pastors because they are recovering addicts, but that doesn’t mean that I should start using.) My hope is that being a parent will also make me better at my other roles. Even though it’s important in its own right. Even though it will compete for my time and attention and sleep. Too optimistic?

If so, I’ll have to start ranking again.